i'm so sick and tired of it all. i just really don't give a shit anymore. fuck it if nobody likes it.

on the other hand, i haven't felt THIS way in a long time.. but i don't know if it's real feelings or just the timing. eh, no big deal.

i'm just gonna stick to myself from now on, and keep my mouth shut.

and just do what i'm supposed to fucking do.

cause it always seems to do more harm than good any other way.

i'm just aggravated i guess, because it seems that i can just never be good enough for certain people, and i always wind up doing something wrong.

also like, why is it so hard for me to know what i'm really feeling?

i wish that i could just say it out loud, just once.

just to see how it would feel.

and what taste it would leave in my mouth.

but i know that i'd just get judged and told what some may think i want to hear.

i just want people to fucking be real with me. just be fuckin straight up. that so hard?

sometimes, i sincerely wish i could go back in time.

and change everything.